Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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