he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
