I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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