i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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