I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize