I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
