I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
