It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
