im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize