found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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