You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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