Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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