The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
