What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
where are my eyebrows?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize