i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
