never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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