Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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