Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The air was thick with penises
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
