Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
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He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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