I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
