we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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