you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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