No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
