Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
