just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
