I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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