I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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