i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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