Do you still have your period?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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