so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize