Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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