I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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