So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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