I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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