Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
