I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....