**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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