so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.