So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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