morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
