It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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