My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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