my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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