I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
