took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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