She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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