Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
