sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
