Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize