i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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