I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
