What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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