discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
God, I missed his penis.
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