worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
