Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
