thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
All the doctor said was why
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize